Your thoughts have a powerful influence on your life. They can inspire untold, fabulous success or plunge you into a miserable quagmire of despair. The secret, the compelling secret, is that you control your thoughts. As you read these next few sentences allow your mind to see the color light blue. It is a little hard to read and let your mind visualize, but you can control your thoughts, so just drift along with me as we allow the blue sky to have white clouds float in. Then the sun appears, bright yellow. Feel the warmth of the sun peacefully touching your face, then the brief gust of the wind nipping past you ear. Was it your left ear or your right ear? There is the green grass tucked up beside a river flowing away from you. The wind creates little white caps on the river. If you say, “I can’t do this.” take three deep breaths, in through your nose, out through your mouth. Now do it again. Yes, you did do it. Just be aware that you can and you will.
      The next step, once you realize you can control your thoughts, is to become aware of the thoughts you are thinking. This is a tad harder, but still very much in your control. Recognize the feeling that is associated with your thought. Sometimes this feeling can be a little elusive. Stay with it for a moment or two. At some point you will know, “I like this feeling. I want to think more things like this.”  OR “No, I don’t like this feeling.” If you don’t like the feeling, don’t fight it. Just recognize it. Maybe you want to look at it more closely. Form you fingers into a kind of cage, fingers spread. Reach out with both hands and take the thought into your fingers. Hold it gently and examine it. Decide. Yes, this is a good thought. You are welcome. I want more of you. No, you don’t make me happy. I don’t like you. You can find someplace else to be. Take another deep breath, in nose, out mouth. Maybe even another. Fill you lungs. Blow your thought away as you quietly release the thought by opening your fingers and letting it float away. 
      You are learning one of the most transformational skills you can bring into your life and into the lives of those you coach. Remember, “Of course,  you will learn … other skills.” You probably didn’t realize how quickly this would happen. Now reflect on how much space we devoted to the three primary skills and the detail behind this skill.  Most people are aware of setting goals, active listening and asking questions, so we don’t spend much initial time on them. Controling your thoughts is not a skill at the top of everyone’s mind. It is relatively easy to understand. It is much more difficult to put into daily practice. Let’s review it’s basics:
      1) You can control your thoughts. 2) Be aware of what you think and the associated feeling. 3) Decide whether it is a thought you want or one you can let go of. 4) Embrace your uplifting thoughts. 5) Quietly, without struggle, let the thought go when it doesn’t serve you. 
      One last thought on the matter. Once your negative thoughts have been dismissed, the strong ones will tend to return for a while. Use the same process as many times as necessary to gently let them go. Again don’t resist. That which you resist, persists. That which doesn’t serve you, decide and peacefully let them float away. More later about positive and negative energy and how to deal with their attractive power. For now just feel yourself in control and quietly let the thoughts that don’t serve you float back into the ether.